My cats have taken up sky diving. Sky diving in the middle of the night, no less. I am the target, despite not being made up of concentric red circles, nor a piece of ground.

My dresser sits next to my canopy bed. Herein lies the problem. They jump to the top of the dresser and from there catapult themselves up onto the canopy beams, high above the bed. They then pretend to be tightrope walkers until they get into “TARGET!!!” position. When they have made their way to just above my prone and sleeping body they launch themselves into flight. Wheeeeeeeeeee THUWUMP. I sproing from a sound sleep. “Oh MY G-d!” is my general immediate response if they happen to land on my legs. If they get a direct hit to the stomach, as they all too often do, I have to relearn breathing first. And it is rarely just one of them. No, they follow one another along that narrow little beam and leap one after the other. Arie is almost always the first and is usually followed by Tinok. Occasionally Tinok is followed by Gingi and/or then Tzofia (who knew a three-legged cat could be such an acrobat?!) and on really rare occasions Matan gets in on the act. Given that he is going for outdoing Mischa in the chubby-kitty category, he is an extra special treat. Not. And then they race over to do it again. At that point, I spray them with the water bottle I have now learned to poise next to the bed. They scatter, I slowly and painfully return to sleep, only to experience a THEUMP, Sproing!, *&%^$#@!!!! a short time later.

I tried to put stuff on top of the dresser to keep them from jumping up there. The result of that experiment was to have first a loud BANG, CeeeRasshhh, phlump of things atop the dresser hitting the floor and bed before a cat launched itself from on-high. And my sky-divers are also expert burglars, capable of opening the sliding door to the bedroom and creeping inside in the dead of night to practice their circus skills.

If this continues, they better practice getting a few more than 9 lives.